(Current) Enemies of the State

Canadian Goose Named Gord McLumberjack

Bounty: Half a tub of chapstick and 10 expired McDonald’s Happy Meal coupons

Crimes: Disliking puns, distribution of anti-pun propa-gander

Description: Goose wearing invisible combat boots and tophat.

Danger Level: 5

That One Red Car

Bounty: Free bumper

Crimes: Tailgating

Description: A car that is red and tailgating

Danger Level: Potato

Mosquitos

Bounty Paper Towels

Crimes: Spreading diseases, mass murder, causing itchiness, tax fraud

Description: Something about this guy really*bugs* me

Danger Level: Over 9000

Robespierre

Bounty: The Mona Lisa and the Bastille and a Banana

Crimes: Got *a-head* of himself during the French Revolution, Rain of Terror without umbrellas, coming back from the dead without a permit

Description: Changes when he hops from host to host

Danger Level: Atlanta, Georgia